When I read a good Superman story, I can feel the classic John Williams theme soaring in a stirring circle between my soul and my ears. But when I read Superman #1, all I hear is a lot of sad trombone.

Wonk wonk waaaaaaaaaaaahonnnnnk.

Unlike the exhilarating and original Action Comics #1, this years-later take on the new DCU's current Man of Steel is a real bummer. In fact, if the Clark Kent from Action met his older, more seasoned and way more serious self, he'd probably try to smack a smile on his face.

The Daily Planet has literally crumbled, making way for a new Daily Planet building meant to be the high-tech hub of a new multimedia empire owned by Morgan Edge (dun dun dun!). This has put Clark Kent and Lois Lane -- who aren't married thanks here (or even civil, mostly because of Clark) due to the reboot or re-launch or re-sideways or whatever this convoluted and inconsistent thing is actually supposed to be -- at professional and personal odds. Clark thinks Lois is selling out. Lois sees it as an opportunity for them to roll with the changing face of the newspaper industry and work within that new system to reach as many people as possible. In fact, Lois practically begs Clark to help her make the most of an inevitable situation, and all Clark can do is pout and dismiss her.

The first (as Superman) and last (as Clark) times we see Mr. Kent in this issue, in fact, he's got his head down. And he's isolated. And he's alone. There's nothing remotely inspiring or fun or even good about this guy, unlike the smiling, righteous, socially conscious young crusader we met in the pages of Action. Yes, he does some Superman things. But that's like saying, "Wow, that pharmacist gave me the correct number of pills." I'd certainly hope so. That's his job. Superman does banter a bit here, but it reads more like annoyance than playfulness. "Okay," he tells one opponent. "Enough is enough. Time you got snuffed!" My brain kind of ran with it. "Because I'm tough! So I'm calling your bluff! And I'm gonna play rough! I can fly and stuff!"

To writer George Perez's credit, he does throw around a lot of ideas here. We've got commentary on the rapidly changing face of news media and the decline of the printed page. We've got some kind of flaming space thing that Superman sort of tussles with, an alien who blows the Horn of Space Gondor atop the Himalayas (in what we're told in an editor's note has something to do with Stormwatch #1), and Lois tossed headfirst into balancing some life-and-death decisions with still getting the story.

And I like that about Lois. She's not afraid to stand up to authority to do what's right. Perry White has some good moments, too, proving to new publisher Ms. Izquierdo (whose name is a play on "izquierda," which is Spanish for "left," which is possibly a hint at her hinted-at controversial politics) that there's still a place for a newspaper you hold in your hands. We also see Jimmy Olsen in action in the field and other familiar faces like Ron Troupe.

The comic is very dense, with tons of words and scenes and shots packed into each page thanks to the efficient layouts of Perez with pencil/ink finishes by Jesús Merino. The artwork feels a little old-fashioned though not in a bad way, but the only thing that doesn't really work is Superman's new costume, which looks bulky, restrictive, and robotic. It looks sleeker when Jim Lee draws it, and my favorite representation of it so far was in Superman's cameo in Swamp Thing #1, where Yanick Paquette made it look more like a ceremonial spacesuit than the armored appearance it gives off here. Superman's costume has always been perfectly simple, and the only way to change something that's already perfect is to add unnecessary elements to it. Too many lines and pads.

So yes, there's a lot to see and read here. Sadly, Superman is the least interesting character in his own book, after what feels like an eternity of his being the least interesting character in his own books (with the exception of Action #1).

And finally, we get to the last two pages which appeared as an online preview shortly after the New 52 was announced. Clark goes to Lois's apartment to apologize and catches her in some sultry shenanigans with her new boyfriend, Jonathan.

Ugh. Really? Not only is Clark pining for Lois, but her boyfriend has the same name as his adoptive father. So now every time Clark's super-hearing accidentally hears Lois calling out her boyfriend's name in the height of passion, it will be the name of one of his two dead dads. Charming.

If Clark's demeanor wasn't unpleasantly sour enough throughout the rest of the book, it takes an even more depressing turn when he walks away from Lois' door with his head down while his super-ears hear Lois and Jonathan talking about him before deciding to hop back in bed for another round of sexual celebrating.

For those of us who loved the Clark/Lois marriage, this scene is pretty gross. "Look, kids! Not only are Clark and Lois not married or even involved, but she's got a beefcake boyfriend, and they're having sex." It comes across as so exploitative and sensationalistic, and DC hasn't helped the situation by dumbing it down to Twilight terms with the "Team Jonathan or Team Superman" poll (hosted by the New York Daily News) they promoted on their Source blog. DC also exclusively broke the story of the new Clark/Lois status quo on TMZ of all places, further making it all feel sleazy.

I don't expect Lois Lane to be a nun. But the whole thing reeks of trying too hard to be too edgy too quickly. I don't mind shaking things up in a way that keeps Clark on his toes. On the other hand, I don't want stories that end with his walking away by himself with his head down and a frown on his face.

I don't want to feel sorry for Superman. I don't want to relate to Superman. I want to be inspired by Superman, and there's nothing inspiring about his behavior in this issue.

Overall, it was just okay to me. The mix of writing styles sometimes feels a little jumbled (with the "presented as a newspaper article" narrative of Superman's battle with the fire creature feeling the most off), but Perez and his team manage to accomplish a lot of setup. The problem here is Clark, who needs to man up and start acting as if he's earned that big red "S" on his chest. Unlike Action Comics, I'm in no real hurry to find out what happens next. -- John Bierly

Grade: C